On Celebrating Thanksgiving as an NDN
Today is Thanksgiving, and I hope you find time to be present with family and friends. I know this is a holiday fraught with principled stances for and against; I know many NDNs will reject the notion of celebrating a day based on a colonial myth; I know others will harken to the story of the “original” thanksgiving meal and give it their own political flavor as moral to the story; I know plenty others who treat it as a mandatory day of family relationships where they will laugh, fight, enjoy, and hate their time together.
I much prefer the latter, frustration and anger included.
Growing up, we always celebrated Thanksgiving as a family event. My aunt would make most of the food, as was usual for her being the oldest, and we’d visit and eat and be together. I was a kid for most of these memories and found those times of closeness and togetherness more apt to boredom than fun. I was typically the youngest at these events, though I did have younger cousins who weren’t around for every holiday, but then, I wasn’t even around for many holidays and they’ve been there more than I have in the long run. I miss being together with family members like my aunt who have moved on now, past this life and on to what lay ahead.
I remember days like these as special times. As we got together in the fall to celebrate Thanksgiving or in the summer to celebrate the Fourth of July, we had fun together.
It’s intersting to think of the before-times: before the internet, before social media, before technology invaded our lives. There are good things about technology; I’m not a technophobe in the ways that many online are these days—ironically heavily online individuals who belie the abundance of technology in their lives. I enjoy its varied uses in making our lives better in healthcare and making this simpler for those of us who idealize minimalism. However, there are obvious and distinct ways they make our lives worse.
Thanksgiving is one of those times where we can see how much technology has infiltrated our social spheres physically. Look around the house at family and friends when you’re together and notice how they are interacting. Sure, some may make it a point to not dwell on their devices during this time together, but many others will hide away due to the boredom or awkwardness of time together.
We’re consistently losing the ability to be with one another.
Presence is always something to be fought for. We can get together but not be together. Presence is what makes our relationships. Without that, we’re nothing but aquaintences, people who know about the other person but don’t really know the other person in any experiential way. This way we don’t have to deal with the nuances of belief systems and statments people make. We just form in our own minds who that person is without much of their input and file them away as someone to engage with or not. This is more a technological side effect of siloing ourselves rather than the human effect of knowing one another. We have to fight for presence in these gatherings to better be with one another and better understand one another.
There are all sorts of articles online about how we should better engage with our family who bear different political beliefs, and then there are other articles how we shouldn’t even go to family events where people who believe differently commit violence on us through their ideas. Both types of article miss the point. We don’t spend time with family to argue specific points of view, though that often happens and it should be encouraged. We spend time with family because they are valuable and worth our time together.
And this applies to NDNs who think the day is completely sullied by American imperialism.
My family on and off the rez always got together for Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July, not to celebrate anything American but to simply be with each other. We didn’t recant the great Thanksgiving myth or reenact the “original” dinner with pilgrim and NDN cosplay. During the Fourth of July, we never raised our hands to our hearts and said the pledge of allegience or sang God Bless America. We saw those holidays as simply time together. Some people make things real weird by doing these extra things to commemorate the day. To me, that’s not the point of these holidays. Sure, it’s the point to some people, but I’ve never felt that pull within me.
I get the anger other NDNs have towards those holidays and respect their wishes to protest them, however, I’ve never had a negative thought towards the functions of the day itself in bringing family and friends together. That’s good enough for me to celebrate.
There are real issues at play here. There is real imperialism that has disrupted cultures over the centuries. I get that. I understand the anger. I see the frustrations. I, just personally speaking of course, don’t care to live with anger. That may seem too harsh here, but what I mean to say is that these things do not bother me in ways they do others. I was raised by NDNs who were angered by the mistreatment of Natives and made their thoughts known. However, they also didn’t dwell on finding every implication of every holiday that revealed a greater discourse of colonialism.
I have aunties who were great activists, who would tell us to stand up for ourselves and make our voices known. One of my aunties was consistently at protests since the 70’s fighting against the marginalization that Native mascots in sports brought to Natives, staging protests at games across the nation. Her main fight was against the Cleveland Indians logo and name, but she hated them all. She was strong and intelligent and resilient.
Most of the people in my life, the strength I see in Natives, were women. My own tribe was a matrilineal and matriarchal nation. The women were and are leaders. As such, I’ve never found issue with having women lead or being servant to women. It’s not something I think is that big of a deal. I have no issue with women in pastoral roles or political roles over men because I know they are wonderful leaders.
I don't think boycotting Thanksgiving equals the actions of my aunties here. Performative posturing is not the same as confronting evil face-to-face.
Ultimately, I reject the idea that partaking in Thanksgiving as an NDN equals tacit support for colonization. For me, anything that brings people together over a meal is something to celebrate and promote. Thanksgiving is a time to get together, to be, and to celebrate one another, and, in a way, being grateful for the humanity all around us.
So, celebrate Thanksgiving and be thankful for one another this holiday.